Longing for the Light
by amai-kaminari
Summary: Homura helps Goku fulfil his dream of taking over the orphanage where he was raised. And Goku helps Homura break the rigid mold of his life. Homura/Goku, implied Gojyo/Hakkai, M/M, NSFW. My first Homura/Goku


**Title:** Longing for the Light

**Author:** s0hmam0miji

**Rating:** R

**Characters:** Homura, Goku, Lirin; mentions of Sanzo, Hakkai, Gojyo, Kougaiji

**Pairing(s):** Homura x Goku, impled Gojyo x Hakkai

**Disclaimer:** Saiyuki and all Saiyuki characters belong to the great Kazuya Minekura-sensei. No money is being made from this work and no copyright infringement is intended.

**Summary:** Homura helps Goku fulfil his dream of taking over the orphanage where he was raised. And Goku helps Homura break the rigid mold of his life.

**Prompts:** Teacher/Student (College Level), 69, sappiness

**Warnings (optional):** M/M, AU

**Author's notes (optional):** Inspired by Kazuya Minkura's "Saiyuki Gaiden Extra – Homura"

"_I'd been longing for the light_

_I can only burn away in my longing_

_But in these hands of flame _

_just once I wanted to hold my last desire _

_a light so strong_

_it would never burn itself out"_

-**Homura**

Saiyuki Gaiden Extra – Homura

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He had touched the flame and he did not burn.

Reverently, Homura brushed a stray lock of hair from Goku's sleeping face. Responding to the touch with a contented purr, the younger man inched closer to his partner, instinctively seeking the warmth of that tender touch. A single beam of moonlight unfurled into the room through the billowing curtains, caressing Goku's face with a soft light. Even in the dim light, Homura could see the tiny smile gracing his lover's lips. Warmed by sight, the older man allowed a smile to reach his own lips. He leaned forward and pressed that smile against Goku's warm skin; first on his forehead, then on his cheek, and finally on the soft curve of his upturned lips.

It was not enough. He wanted to grasp that immutable flame in his two hands; to hold that pure light close to his bosom and bask in its warmth and radiance. Carefully, so as not to wake his lover, Homura wrapped both his arms around the smaller man and drew him up against his chest. Now, this close, he could feel the undulation of his lover's breaths skimming his skin.

For so long, he'd be longing for the light.

Running his fingers lightly through Goku's short brown tresses, Homura laid back against the stack of pillows on their shared bed and marveled at how this all came to be.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

From a very young age, he had been taught that there were only two kinds of creatures in the world: wolves and sheep. Wolves thrived on scavenging the spoils of another creature's toil. Sheep blindly obeyed, obliviously following the flock to the slaughter. To survive in this world, one had to be a wolf – regardless of how many sheep were sacrificed along the way. Whenever Homura looked around him, all he saw were wolves and sheep. Bloodthirsty predators and mindless prey. Clearly, it was a choice of kill or be killed. Whether or not he objected to preying on others did not matter; in order to survive, he needed to become a wolf.

And so Homura had spent most of his young adult life honing his ambition like a blade. From the moment he entered school until day he received his accelerated MBA in Corporate Strategy, Homura cared for nothing other than his single-mindedly focus. During that time, he made few acquaintances and even fewer friends. His circumstances did not change, even after entering the corporate world. He learned to spot his sheep with increasing precision, using their backs as stepping stones for his own corporate climb. Within two years, he was named Vice President and he had become known within the industry for running his organization with an iron fist and a velvet glove; ruthlessly – though cunningly - tearing down anyone in his path. In the end, though, the lifestyle did not suit him. After three years, Homura found he could no longer stomach amassing wealth off the sweat of others. And so, without explanation, Homura left the path he had spent so many years paving.

He arrived at the hallowed halls and ivory towers nested in this quiet collegiate town seeking refuge from the grind and greed of corporate life. Perhaps, he had surmised, this ivy-covered sanctuary of brick and mortar would be impenetrable to the wolves and their green paper gods. He had hoped that perhaps things would be different here, but soon after arriving on campus, he discovered that he'd been wrong. The 'Ivy League' was little more than a breeding ground for cubs of the wolves he had left behind.

Rising before dawn, Homura decided to go on a hike up to the top of Mount Holyoke. Perhaps there, away from quagmire of his daily life, he could find some perspective. As he followed the winding path that led him to the summit, he spied a red-tailed hawk swooping down amid the grass. Within a blink of an eye, the hawk snagged its prey, flapping its powerful wings to return to its nest. The world truly could be divided between predator and prey, it seemed. At the summit, Homura found a cool patch of grass and sat down, trying to clear his mind of these thoughts.

Golden tendrils of sunlight had just begun creeping though the trees, striping the rest area in patterns of light and shadow.

"Hey. Can I join you?"

Homura looked up to find a golden-eyed young man peering over at him.

"Be my guest"

"I didn't think anyone would be up here this early," the stranger grinned, settling down beside him, "Hey, I feel I've seen you around before. You at Amherst, too?"

"I am an adjunct professor for the Management Department."

"Oh? An adjunct? What do you teach?"

"A business course in managing organizations"

"Really? I took that course a couple of years ago when I was a sophomore. Hey, are you Professor Homura?"

"I am."

"One of my friends is in your class."

"Oh? And who would that be?"

"Lirin?"

"Ah, an energetic one – that girl." Ironic how she still managed to fall asleep during my lectures.

"Energetic?" he laughed loudly, short brown tresses rustling with mirth, "Oh, man! If that's what you think, you'd the first teacher to say that about her!"

"And what is your name?"

"Goku. Son Goku."

"A pleasure to meet you, Son Goku. And what brings you to Summit House this sunrise?"

"I dunno. I just felt like I had to get away, y'know?"

"Ah, I see. Is your class load overwhelming you, then?"

"Huh? No, it's not that at all. I mean, I like being in school and studyin' and all – but sometimes, when I walk around, and I see all these kids with their dads' platinum credit cards – it just gets to be a bit much, y'know? I didn't grow up like that."

"Yes, I believe I understand, Son Goku. I believe I understand completely."

"So what about you, huh? Why'd you drag yourself all the way up here?"

"For much the same reason."

"Oh," Goku frowned. Oddly, Homura could already tell that the expression didn't fit

on his face, "You know, I liked that class when I took it."

"Did you now, Son Goku. And what specifically interested you about the topic?"

"The non-profit stuff."

"Really." Homura snorted in disbelief.

"Yeah. When I graduate from here, I'm going to go run an orphanage."

"Quite an unusual goal," the older man responded, running his fingers absent mindedly though the grass, "And how did you come by this ambition?"

"Well, 'cause I was raised in one."

Homura turned his head to glance at the young man.

"I never knew my parents. Sanzo - he ran the orphanage…"

Homura tilted his head towards the young man to indicate that he had been listening.

"Sanzo… He was pretty much the only family I had. And when he died, I just… I dunno. I guess I wanted to finish what he started, y'know?"

"Very noble. Such a rare quality among your peers."

"Yeah… and well, that class… I guess I was kinda hopin' that maybe I could learn how to run things just like Sanzo did. Maybe help out some of those kids out there that don't have anywhere else to go, if I'm lucky."

"Relying on chance is for the foolish. You seem the sort who would reach his goals by the strength of your own two hands."

"Yeah, I hope so."

"You have the power to make your dreams a reality, Son Goku. Now all you need are faith in your own abilities and the will to persevere through any trials."

"Yeah, well… Most of my friends think I'm nuts, you know?"

"History is full of great men who were misunderstood. Such is the way of the world."

"Well… I dunno about this 'great men' thing. I mean, it's not like I'm lookin' to bring world peace or anything."

"Greatness is has many definitions. That you endeavor to live beyond your own self-interests makes your goals noble. And nobility is a sign of greatness."

Goku turned his head and stared at the older man. In his wide eyes, Homura could read a variety of emotions ranging from doubt to gratitude.

Then a wide smile slowly blossomed on his lips, "Thanks. I think I kinda needed to hear someone tell me that."

"Any time, Son Goku."

"So, Professor Homura… What brought you out here? To teach at Amherst, I mean."

"I wanted to get away. Where I worked -- everywhere I turned, it seemed, I only met men who were all too willing to take advantage of another's misfortunate," Homura glanced briefly at the younger man next to him, "I grew tired of the hypocrisy."

"Oh," The younger man was silent for a moment, "I think… I think I get it."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The year seemed to progress more quickly after that day. Homura thought about Goku occasionally, wondering how the younger man was faring. Unfortunately, he couldn't spare more than a fleeting moment thinking about the matter as he had his own work to complete. After spending long hours grading a stack of mid-term exams, Homura stopped by the student union to relax with a cup fo coffee. After purchasing a muffin and cup of coffee, Homura took the tray up the stairs to the mezzanine, seating himself in the faculty dining area overlooking the main dining room. Most of the students had already left campus for their mid-term break, so Homura was pleased to find the hall to be unusually quiet.

Homura took a sip of his coffee, rolled his shoulders and released a quiet sigh.

It had been months after their meeting and Homura hadn't run into the Goku since then. Though he had no illusion that the world would continue to be made of up manipulators and the manipulated, a part of him truly wanted the young man to prove him wrong.

"Dammit, I can't believe I got a freakin' 'C-' on my mid-term! That's so unfaaaaaaaaaair!"

The high-pitched whine shook him out of his reverie. Homura looked up to see one of his students, Lirin, accompanied a companion. As they sat down, he recognized the face of the young man he met at Summit House.

"What are you so pissed about, Lirin? You didn't even study!"

"Whatever. You know I only took this class because I thought it'd be an easy 'A.' Who the hell cares about Organization Management, anyway. "

"Oh, I dunno… I took that class when I was a sophomore. I kinda liked it, actually. I mean, I had to bust my ass and all, but I definitely learned a lot."

"Gods! You're such a goober!"

"Whatever. Just wait 'till your brother finds out that you got a 'C-.' He's gonna be pissed!"

"Don't remind me. Mr. Summa Cum Laude spends enough time bitching at me about my grades as it is."

"Well, unlike someone I know, Kou's actually smart."

"Whatever, retard," Lirin shot back, pulling a face, "So you took that class too, huh? Who'd you take it with? I had Professor Homura."

"I had Dr. Cho."

"No fair! I wanted to take it with Dr. Cho," Lirin squealed, "He's so cute!"

Goku rolled his eyes.

"Hey… How come Dr. Cho isn't teaching it this semester, anyway?"

"I think I remember him sayin' somethin' about taking the semester off. Him and Professor Sha both, actually. I heard some of the girls in my dorm say they were gettin' married or somethin'."

"Married? Aw, bummer. There goes my shot at him."

"So, hey, Lirin…. how's Professor Homura, anyway? I mean… Is he…. Is he… um… any good? As a teacher, I mean."

"He's okay," answered Lirin, cocking an eyebrow suspiciously at her friend, "Why do you wanna know?"

Goku couldn't hide the blush that rose up to his cheeks too quickly. "I dunno. Just kinda wonderin' I guess. He seemed kinda cool when I met him."

"Oh, so you met him? When'd you meet him?"

"At Summit House. We were both up there watchin' the sun rise."

"You mean like a date?"

"No! Nothin' like that!"

Lirin shot him yet another suspicious look, "Uh-huh. And what'd you two lovebirds talk about on your date?"

"It wasn't a date. We just ran into each other there and started talking – that's all."

"So it wasn't a date," Lirin began, "You just happened to go watch the sunrise together alone at the top of Mount Holyoke. You: a guy who normally doesn't eat breakfast until 2 in the afternoon… You: a guy who thinks that a gym is a kind of beef jerky. You… got up at the butt-crack of dawn… and hauled your lazy ass up a mountain… just to watch the sun rise with him – and it wasn't a date?"

"We didn't go together, all right? We just happened to run into each other there! Geez!"

"Uh-huh." Lirin eyed him, placing her hands on her hips to accent her disbelief, "So what you really mean is that you wish it'd been a date."

"…"

"What? No smartass come-back?" Lirin teased, pointing at him, "Crap! You really DO like him, don't you?"

"I dunno. Maybe. He's just… he's different, you know?"

"Hmmm… Well, Whatever," Lirin shrugged, waving a dismissive hand, "So, you're still coming to my house during the break, right? My brother Kou's been practicing on Wii Sports so he can beat you this time!"

"Yeah, right. Dream on!"

"Well, I think he's gonna kick your ass this time"

"Ha! Bet you a dozen meatbuns that I wipe the floor with him!"

"Make that two dozen and you're on!"

Homura watched at the two friends left, tossing playful punches at each other along the way. Apparently, the other man had thought of him since their meeting as well.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hey! Professor Homura!"

"Ah, Son Goku."

"Wow! You're still here? That's awesome!"

"Yes. I just wrapped up a summer session that I had been teaching. And what about you, Son Goku. What brings you back to your alma mater?"

"Well, I was in the neighborhood and Kou asked me to check up on Lirin. She's taking summer classes."

"And how are your endeavors?"

"Going okay, I guess."

"I'm glad to hear that you are making progress."

"Hey, Professor Homura… "

"Homura will suffice, Son Goku. You are no longer a student here, after all."

"Uh, okay. Hey, Homura… if you have time… do you maybe wanna go for coffee or something? I could really use some advice…"

"My schedule is free for the rest of the afternoon."

They found their way to a local coffee shop in town. After making their purchases and settling into a table outside the establishment, Homura took a long sip of his coffee, casting an analytical eye on the young man fidgeting in front of him.

"You appeared troubled, Son Goku. What seems to be the matter?"

"Are you sure you don't mind talking for a while?"

Homura nodded.

"Well… I got a job working at my old orphanage… I'm the manager's assistant. But I just found out that the lady that's been runnin' it wants to leave. She said something about retirin' or something. Anyway… she asked me if I wanna take over for her. And I wanna. That's my whole dream, you know. But it's just that I don't know if I'm cut out for it. I haven't been at it very long, y'know?"

"Have faith in your own abilities, Son Goku"

"It's just… it'd be kind of nice if I could find someone who would be willing to help me out. Someone with more experience. I guess, I was kinda hopin…"

"You'd like me to help you, then?"

"Yeah," the smaller man's eyes dropped to the table as he absent-mindedly toyed with his coffee stirrer.

"All right."

Goku's head jerked up, surprise clear in his golden eyes, "What? Really?"

"My contract here is done. And the notion of returning to my former career does not particularly appeal to me. So I will help you."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After Goku's roommate moved out, Homura moved into the apartment that Goku had been renting near the orphanage. He had never made a decision on impulse before. Would it be a mistake? Would he find a world of wolves and sheep, even here?

Homura was pleased to discover that they were quick to establish a rhythm in their working relationship. How own business acumen was a great asset in helping the orphanage acquire the funds it needed to continue its operation. He handled all the paperwork, helped establish safety and training guidelines for the caretakers, and won the grant to improve the classroom facilities. Goku handled the day to day logistics on running the orphanage.

After many months of working together, the attraction and affection that the two felt for each other slowly blossomed into a budding relationship. One evening after returning home from a day of work, Homura found Goku sitting on the couch. The smaller man looked up as he entered the house, as if he had been waiting for him.

"Homura?"

"Yes, Son Goku"

"Thanks."

"There is no need to thank me, Son Goku"

"No, really. If you didn't help me, I don't think I could've done it."

Homura looked up and saw the gaze that had been fixed on him: a gaze that not only reflected gratefulness, but warmth - a light simply pure and strong.

The warmth, so close. The light, so pure. Did he dare touch it? If he touched the flame, would he burn?

Homura reached out and touched Goku's cheek, "The power you have there has been given to you, Son Goku. No thanks are necessary."

"Homura… I…" Homura could see the young man swallowing hard, struggling with his words.

"What is it, Son Goku? Please tell me."

One moment, Homura heard the young man release a groan of frustration, the next moment, his world was enveloped in warmth. Warm eager lips burned his lips and his tongue, and yet he felt no pain.

"Son Goku…"

He needed to be closer. To allow himself to be completely engulfed by the heat and the light.

Homura threaded his fingers into the smaller man's hair and pulled him closer. Goku moaned softly at the contact. Wrapping his arms lightly around the smaller man, Homura lifted his small frame and laid him gently on the bed. He pressed his lips more firmly against Goku's forcing the seam of his lips to open, allowing the larger man to explore the warm cavern of his mouth. The younger man accepted the kiss and tentatively touched his tongue with his own. Slowly their tongues found a steady rhythm and sliding over and around each other in a sensual dance. Goku moaned again, but Homura swallowed that moan in an impassioned kiss.

Laying the younger man on his back, Homura began unbuttoning his shirt, following deft fingers with a trail of gentle kisses down the younger man's throat and along the curve of the muscles on his chest. Goku closed his fingers around the dark tresses of his lover's head. Continuing a trail of kisses down his torso and belly, Homura skillfully unfastened the buttons of Goku's jeans and gradually tugged them off. Gradually moving down the inside of his lover's thigh, he placed a worshipful kiss to mark each new patch of skin he revealed.

The soft groan of his name drifted to his ears. "Homura…"

Homura moved up Goku's body and took his lover's arousal in his mouth. Sucking softly, he swirled his tongue around the firm shaft and over the head, already dripping with pre-come.

"Homura… Homura, please."

Climbing up onto the bed, Homura straddled Goku's shoulders, angled his head and took Goku fully into his mouth. He moaned as he felt a warm wet heat surrounding his own arousal.

"Goku…"

"No, Homura. I wanna do this."

Before he could utter another word of protest, Goku wrapped his lips around Homura's thick member and began taking short swipes with his hot tongue against the head of Homura's cock.

"Goku…" A groan escaped his own lips before he could stop it. Taking a deep breath, he plunged his head downward, taking Goku's full length into his mouth.

Together they engaged in this tender dance of mutual worship. Homura took Goku deep into his throat, swallowing to constrict his throat muscles in order to feel Goku's length inside his mouth. He could feel Goku's responses by the moans and increasing graze of Goku's teeth against his own erection.

"Ah! H… Homura!"

Homura felt the Goku's grip on his thighs tighten as the younger man came. Pulling back slightly, the larger man swallowed.

Finally, after both lovers have been sated, the older man moved next to his lover and curled up beside him.

He had finally found a light. A creature, strong yet pure. Neither wolf, nor sheep. Strong in convictions, yet merciful in execution. Son Goku.


End file.
